Lessons From Lewis
Whenever I find myself in uncharted emotional waters, I look to my teacher, Lewis, to help me put to words the lessons the Lord is teaching my soul.
[Lewis was grieving the death of his wife] Of course it is different when things happen to oneself, not to others, and in reality, not in imagination. Yes; but should it, for a sane man, make quite such a difference as this? No. And it wouldn't be for a man whose faith had been real faith and whose concern for other people's sorrow had been real concern. The case is too plain. If my house has collapsed at one blow, that is because it was a house of cards. The faith which "took these things into account" was not faith but imagination. The taking them into account was not real sympathy. If I had really cared, as I thought I did, about the sorrows of the world, I should not have been so overwhelmed when my own sorrow came...
And I must surely admit- H. [his wife] would have forced me to admit in a few passes-that, if my house was a house of cards, the sooner it was knocked down the better. And only suffering could do it. - C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed, pp. 42-44. Emphasis mine.
I have become fully aware of the depths of my selfishness. I see now how little I actually practice the command to, “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). I see. I am sorry. I will change.