10 Questions to Determine if Your Pastor is a Calvinist
- Does your pastor's profile picture feature him in front of a bookshelf, with a Bible in his hands, or in a suit standing at a pulpit with his hands in the air, signaling that the field goal was good?
- Did your pastor name his children, regardless of gender, after a minor prophet, a less known Reformer, or a Greek word (e.g. Obadiah, Melanchthon, Karis)?
- Does your pastor often share Spurgeon's quote about how having a beard is a godly thing?
- Does your pastor drop phrases in Latin (e.g. coram deo, sola gratia) even though he doesn't know Latin?
- Does your pastor say, "Well, like the Bible says, 'Some are chosen and some just aren’t'," when a person isn't picked for the church softball team?
- Does your pastor use the phrase Gospel-centered to describe everything? Example: Wow, that was a Gospel-centered cheeseburger.
- Does your pastor smoke a pipe and have a bottle opener on his key ring?
- Does your pastor say things like, "We will be worshiping God for all eternity and you can't meditate on the glory of God for just a little while?!" when someone complains about his 100 minute sermon?
- Does your pastor reference more commentaries in his sermon than Bible verses?
- Is his favorite holiday Election Day?
If the answer to three or more of these questions is yes, then I'm afraid your pastor is more than likely a Calvinist. Respond accordingly.